I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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