she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
