HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
