I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
literally had 100 drinks last night.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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