please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
