girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
