i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
