I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You ate ashes out of my bong
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