He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
