i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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