After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
