Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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