I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
