I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She bit a glass in half.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
