there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
