thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
