You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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