It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
two words: eviction party
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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