So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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