There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
