I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
