Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
