What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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