somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
