I'm gonna have a badass scar
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
