I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
