i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
