How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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