She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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