im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
