There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
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his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
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I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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