Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
