Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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