Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
