therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
