Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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