Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
