Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
