At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
