getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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