I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
