somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
