i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
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I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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