Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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