yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
