I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize