I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
