I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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