Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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