You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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