Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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