sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
