So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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