his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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