final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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