oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize