I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think a kid would responsible me up
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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