If i come over, it means nothing
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
