Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
