Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
