This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I woke up under a house in Key West
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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