yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
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I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
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Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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