He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
